Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Weepy Mama

That is the best way to describe me right now. Well, really for the past few weeks.

Our yearly trip to the Pediatrician's office resulted in an ADHD diagnosis for The Shmoo. I have known since he was just hours old that he had more energy than most, but the label brings tears to my eyes. It's not " that" label that makes me sad, but rather any label. To me, he is the most perfect, loving, kind, angel. And, one on one, he is just that. But, throw him in a class with 19 other pre-schoolers, and he loses all ability to self regulate his behavior. He is not a mean, or viscous kid, but he struggles ( on a good day) to stay focused, and calm.

Today has me down right lost. His current pre-school has waited until today, a month after our parent teacher conference, to tell us that they are not sure they can " support" him there. That it is very hard to have him in class. Really, just today? Now you think is the right time to tell us? I have my ear to the ground for a new place for him, but mid year is hard, and we are on a shoe string of a budget.

I am not a home schooler, but I told J today that I might have to be. It would mean boxing up all of my fabric, and diving head first into teaching. And not just teaching, but teaching my lovely boy all the important things while reminding him how wonderful he is. What a good person he is.

I dropped him off today and almost couldn't let go. He was so excited to see his friends, and I just wanted to grab him and run.

Like any parent, I want him to be loved, challenged, appreciated, and most of all to feel as if he is an important part of the world, and that is not happening for him at school right now.

I have piles of work to do, but I cannot seem to keep the tears at bay. Maybe a cup of tea and a good long cry will help. Maybe!